Tina missed her Thundergirl camping trip so Bob drags their family to Meshugaas National Park where, he cockily assures them, they can survive on the land for one night. Linda and the kids find an RV and a couple of survivalists who are willing to share some food. Bob catches and eats a small, undercooked fish and soon, Bob is throwing up from both ends. Linda and Bob go skinny dipping and get lost; Louise is totally into survivalism and incites Gene and Tina to underwear and semi-mutiny in the quest to find and rescue their parents, before someone a lot scarier does... Written by LA-Lawyer

This is what parents do: glue crap on stuff for their kids. And for Halloween, Linda and Bob slave over sequins, fins and tails for the kids' Chinese dragon costume. Gene left the dragon eyes in the fort; Andy, Ollie, and his sisters accompany Gene to get the eyes and show Darryl their cool fort. But, no one gave a thought to Millie Frock. Louise says Millie wants to be her friend...or BE Louise or be a rap duo with Louise. The kids always thought Louise was the one to fear; Louise knows, but cannot quite articulate: Millie is pure evil. It is the age old battle between sly and schizoid; mettle and mental. Thus began their longest journey together. Written by LA-Lawyer

Linda and Bob have a fight about how he half-asses Date Night. Linda signs up for Couples' Flying Lessons but Bob refuses to leave the ground and Linda goes alone. Fischoeder comes to the restaurant, sees the flying brochure and pours oil on Bob's troubled waters. The seaplane pilot, who is nicknamed Upskirt Kurt, flies all of the bored housewives in his 1968 Sweetnam Eagle, Shoshona, and crash-lands on the infamous Quippiquisset or Quicky Kiss It Island. Tina marvels an entire island exists just for the purpose of kissing. Bob and the kids rush to find Linda.... before the Captain can be cleared for landing. Written by LA-Lawyer

Bob scores a temporary gig as a cook at an underdog frat house and discovers that he fits right in! Hijinks ensue as Bob and the rest of the fraternity brothers find themselves in the middle of a collegiate prank war that involves the house's most famous alumnus, Dr. Yap. Meanwhile, the kids are on a mission to invade the frat house and get in on the action. Written by Anonymous

Gayle and her 3 cats are visiting, Bob is OD'ing on allergy meds and turkey brine as he bastes and cooks, Tina wants to wear lipstick, hose and heels and sit at the adults' table, Gene is writing his own cool Thanksgiving song, Linda is helping Gene with the lyrics, and Louise is doing what Louise does---all in preparation for an extra-special Thanksgiving dinner with the Belcher family, Gayle, Mort and Teddy. All suspects have been named: Who is the party doing the turkey trots? Written by LA-Lawyer

Linda has an upcoming 25 year reunion at Cardinal Gennaro High. Debbie, chairman of the reunion, needs entertainment for the gala. Linda's old band, The Ta Tas, are not even her 3rd choice, but she asks Linda to round up the band: Angie, Patsy, Nancy, and Gayle. Linda does not want to do it: 25 years ago, Bad Hair Day rocked the talent show; and BHD still rocks the pro circuit. The kids egg on Linda until she agrees to perform. Tina plans to babysit, so the kids plan to attend. Like Louise says, who would miss the train wreck of all train wrecks? The kids fail to consider a key variable: Jen, the boring babysitter. All of a sudden, BHD... Woo! BHD will make one appearance; things are looking black at the Belcher house. The Ta Tas sound like cats being electrocuted while gnawing on tin cans and toenails. But Bob still has the most interesting date in the joint. Written by LA-Lawyer

To Tina's delight, Bob becomes the substitute Home Ec teacher at her school and ends up creating a full-scale restaurant in the classroom. However, her excitement is short-lived as Bob's position causes father/daughter friction. But when Gene and Louise go to work for Bob's school restaurant, Linda must fend for herself at the family's other restaurant (aka Bob's Burgers). Written by Anonymous

After Linda accidentally kills the family tree, the Belchers must go out on Christmas Eve to find a new one. But when Bob cuts off a giant candy cane truck, they are forced to outrun the madman driver (homage to the 1971 movie Duel) and spend the entire night together in the car. Back at the Belcher home, Bob's friend, Teddy, accidentally gets stuck in the kids' Santa trap. Written by Anonymous

Linda decides to invite some of Louise's classmates over for a slumber party without her knowledge. With the prospect of being forced to endure an entire night with people she hates, Louise devises a plan to get all the girls to beg to go home. With the help of Tina and Gene, she starts to try and scare them off, but one is reluctant to go. Written by Hana848

There is a contest for young magicians during Festival of Magic at the Wharf's Art Center; first place prize is $500. Bob offers 1/2 off for all magicians and meets the quirky theatric, Mars Sazerac. Louise feels a calling, like to the priesthood. Bob makes Sazerac and the other magicians angry. Tina offers to be Jimmy Jr.'s magic assistant but is disappointed when his act is 90% dancing and 10% magic. Tina spends her own money to beef up the magic portion of his act; Jimmy Jr. fires Tina and asks Tammy Larson to be his new assistant. So, Tina decides to be a magician on her own. Revenge is a dish best served cold: who will be partaking of this delicacy? Written by LA-Lawyer

To compete with fellow restaurateur, Jimmy Pesto, and his blowout Super Bowl event, Bob is determined to create a Bob's Burgers commercial to air during the big game. In an effort to outshine Pesto, the Belchers recruit Randy, a documentarian, to assist with the filmmaking and hire on former pro football star Connie Frye to be the celebrity endorser. Written by Anonymous

It is Why I Love Wagstaff night and each child wrote a creative composition for the school to display. But, Linda and Bob are confused: where are THEIR children's essays and why is Mr. Frond trying to hide from them? It turns out Mr. Frond thinks the Belcher kids are too creative. Louise's fantasy fiction is clearly the story to end (terminate?) all stories, strongly influenced by artiste, James Cameron. As one would expect, Gene writes a techno music tale with shades of Herbert Ross, but, alas, he did not name it Buttloose. Tina sticks to her best genre: erotic friend fiction (with a zombie component) a la H.P. Lovecraft. Tina's work poses a startling question for our time: Just because we CAN cure jock itch, does that automatically mean we SHOULD cure jock itch? Bob and Linda learn the real reason Mr. Frond will not display their kids' work: Art imitates life. Mr. Frond is the villain in each one of their stories! Written by LA-Lawyer

Tammy Larson turns into a Bat-Zilla in the planning of her Bat Mitzvah gala. Tammy invites everyone but her first friend, Tina, and she is very snotty about not inviting her. Tammy learns Shauna Glassman had 5 caterers at her Bat Mitzvah, so Tammy screams at her mother via mobile; Tina offers up the Belcher family as caterer #6. Now, Tina has her big entre to Tammy's celebration at Sunsets Hotels and to the BFOS: Boys From Other Schools. A little prank lets Louise get inside Tammy's head and gives her a way to watch the new horror unfold: the unleashing of Tin-Zilla. Written by LA-Lawyer

The first North Atlantic Burger Lovers Conference is being taken offline and held at the Indefinite Stay hotel, home of the no amenities weekend. Jen ran off to France; Teddy offers to stay with the kids for the weekend. BurgerBob is psyched to be amongst his people: Just Grillin', Beefer Sutherland, Beefgeek and a gal called Meatcute ...until he realizes they all hate him. They are all amateurs and have the wrong impression of Bob, who does not know the ABCs of messaging... LMAO BIG FROWNY FACE! At home, Teddy is a big hit with Gene and Louise (yay, Uncle Teddy) but up in her room, grounded by Teddy, Tina fumes and obsesses over Jonas, the delivery boy with the hair from Reggie's Deli. When Tina sneaks out, Teddy is willing to do whatever it takes to find his temporary niece---even if it means turning himself in to the po-po. Written by LA-Lawyer

Linda and Bob are going on the Wine Train where adults get to swill reds and whites and enjoy a buffet, chocolate fountain and more. Kids are allowed but not welcome; Bob and Linda bring them anyway. The porter, Ethan, locks Tina, Gene and Louise in the Juice Caboose, where they meet up with Louise's Field Trip Buddy, Regular Sized Rudy. When the elder Belchers meet Rick, the wine enthusiast, Linda welcomes him with open glass. Louise has a fixation... Louise Must Get Chocolate! Meanwhile, Bob becomes indignant with Rick's wine snobbery and suddenly, there is a birthday and a Wine-Off. Jambo! Written by LA-Lawyer

Linda trips and hits her head while fixing the restaurant TV; she correctly predicts Mort will find his lost wallet in the loo, the caller to Bob's Burgers is a telemarketer and the next one to walk through the door will be tall, dark and ...Marshmellow? The kids believe in Linda, even if Bob is very skeptical; and Louise plans to hit the track! Linda calls in a tip to Channel 6 and finds the town's mascot Dizzy Dog, who fell in the ocean. Linda is officially named on TV as a psychic. Sgt. Bosco needs help: his job is on the line. Can Linda help him find notorious criminal, The Little Boy Bandit, before he commits crime #9? Written by LA-Lawyer

In an homage to the Bronies subculture, Tina attends her first Equestra-con, a convention based on her favorite animated pony show, The Equestranauts. To her surprise, she finds that the show's fans are middle-aged men (called Equesticles). When a powerful super-fan tricks Tina out of her rare toy pony, it's up to Bob to go undercover to get it back. Written by Anonymous

Gene, Louise, and Tina discover a seaweed-covered object at the beach that turns out to be a large hunk of Ambergris - an extremely valuable, but illegal, by-product of whale poop that is used in high-end perfumes. But Louise tries to cheat Gene and Tina out of the profit she hopes to make by selling the treasure on the black market. Meanwhile, Bob and Linda deal with their psychologically unstable landlord who is building them a new bathroom. Written by Anonymous

Upon learning that she has a cavity and needs a filling, Louise runs away from the dentist's office and seeks refuge at Aunt Gail's. When Louise refuses to go home, Linda sends Tina and Gene to join her and bets her that she won't last the weekend with Aunt Gail's craziness. Written by Anonymous

Tina is trying out for cheerleader. Louise makes time to watch when Tina is unsure whether hands or face touch ground first in a cartwheel. Gene cheers so loudly and lustily, 3 of the judges notice him and hand-pick him as cheerleader; Todd, the only male Yell King tries to mark his territory. Linda is SO proud, but Bob tries to tone down her partiality. Since Tina's injury at tryouts, Louise interprets for her. Tina soon learns to appreciate her crafty little sister... until Louise hijacks her date. The cheer advisor, Mr. Ambrose, has the approximate maturity of the rest of the squad... he signs them up for the Regional Finals. Bob asks the burning question: When cheerleaders compete, who cheers for them? Written by LA-Lawyer

Does putting a Band-Aid on a fart make it go away? There are so many wonderful memories at the Wharf. Calvin tries to renovate the rides at Wonder Wharf. Felix wants Bob to ambush his older brother so Felix can sell the land for condos. Tina tries to save her favorite carousel horse, Mr. Goiter, as Bob serenades Calvin a la Hair. (It's so easy to be hard... nice.) Is Take Your Landlord to Lunch Day real? Do rules apply to all of us... even Louise? Bob shows exactly how he cares for his town. Written by LA-Lawyer

It is back to boring crappy life in the stinky, poopy, rundown, shanty town by the sea. (Did HKat leave one behind?) Tina has a new necklace. Calvin and Bob find it is murder living without an iPhone. The kids attribute Bob's calls to Linda's mobile as butt dials and Louise has to chart the conjugations of spellcheck to decipher all possible messages. Calvin and Bob bond as Sgt. Bosco demonstrates the big secret behind the untold yet well-deserved wealth of marital-domestic relations attorneys. It becomes very Hairy again as oh, bad things are bad... If only Bob had purchased a better mobile. Written by LA-Lawyer