Elaine and George are fascinated to learn that a massage from a physical therapist can be claimed on health insurance if they have a doctor's note. Jerry offers to get his dentist friend to provide a note for them. George is enthusiastic about it all until he learn that his massage will be given by Raymond, leading him afterward to wonder if he is gay. Jerry is having his own problems with his masseuse who now fears he's a child molester. Kramer meanwhile has trouble convincing everyone that he saw Joe DiMaggio in coffee shop. Written by garykmcd

Jerry is being audited by the IRS but everything is in hand as George's new girlfriend Patrice is an accountant and former IRS auditor and she has agreed to help him out. Unfortunately, George isn't too happy with the relationship and when she asks him to tell her the truth about how he feels, he obliges. Their break-up leads Patrice to a residential depression clinic and Jerry is desperate to get his tax receipts back. Elaine meanwhile is having to put up with Kramer who is dating her roommate. She is particular upset by the fact that Kramer accidentally saw her naked. Written by garykmcd

Jerry and Elaine visit his parents in Florida and to attend a dinner in honor of his father. They meet the neighbors, Jack and Doris, and after Jerry admires Jack's astronaut pen, he offers it to him, which Jerry gladly accepts. He didn't really want to give it to him which leads to non-stop gossip. It all leads to an interesting dinner. Elaine meanwhile has an uncomfortable night on the pull-out bed - the lack of air conditioning doesn't help - hurting her back. Desperate to go back to New York, she is told by a chiropractor she has to stay for another 5 days. Written by garykmcd

After striking up a casual acquaintance with his seat-mate on a flight home, Jerry is stuck caring for his dog after he falls ill and the aircraft makes an emergency landing in Chicago so he can be hospitalized. After three days of keeping the dog in his apartment, Jerry is at his wits end. He doesn't want to go out in case the dogs makes a mess and he has no idea when the owner may show up to collect him. Kramer meanwhile decides that he wants to break up with his latest girlfriend. Written by garykmcd

Jerry is amazed to receive a letter from the New York City Library telling him he has a overdue book - from 1971. He's certain he returned it - a copy of Henry Miller's Tropic of Cancer - but the library's chief investigator, a no-nonsense tough guy right out of a bad Hollywood movie, doesn't want to hear excuses. George is shaken when he goes to the library with Jerry only to see a homeless man on the step who is the spitting image of his high school tormentor, gym teacher Mr. Heyman. It was George's complaint that got the man fired and he now thinks he may have ruined his life. Kramer meanwhile starts dating the librarian and Elaine is convinced that her boss he out to fire her. Written by garykmcd

Having gone to a mall in Jersey so Kramer can buy a new air conditioner, George, Jerry, Elaine and Kramer find themselves unable to find their car when they're ready to go home. George has an outing with his parents, Jerry is in dire need of a bathroom and Elaine's repeated attempts to get help from other shoppers are a dismal failure. Written by garykmcd

Jerry has become fascinated with the new café that's opened across the street. The owner, Pakistani immigrant Babu Bhatt, has few if any customers. He suggests that rather than the somewhat bland menu currently on offer he offer an all Pakistani menu. George's girlfriend meanwhile wants him to take an IQ test and when Elaine says she has an IQ of 145 he gets her to take the test for him with less than stellar results. Written by garykmcd

Jerry has used a voice recorder at his most recent gig so he can listen to some of his new material. A woman has added her own voice-over to part of the tape and for Jerry, George and Kramer, it is the most erotic thing they have ever heard. Elaine thinks it's all very funny since she's the woman on the tape. While Jerry frantically tries to track the mysterious woman down, Elaine tells George the truth and he is suddenly infatuated with her. George has also ordered some hair growing cream from china but it has a particularly bad smell. Written by garykmcd

George quite likes his new girlfriend Audrey but isn't quite sure he will ever get over the fact that she has a rather large nose. When Kramer, to everyone's embarrassment, blurts out in Audrey's presence that all she needs is a nose job, she begins to seriously consider it. The results aren't what she hoped for leading to a typical reaction from George. Kramer meanwhile is still obsessing over the jacket he was forced to return to the owner two years after it was left at his mother's house. He gets Elaine involved in a scheme to get it back for him. Written by garykmcd

Jerry, Elaine and George attend a party on Long Island thrown by one of George's co-workers. Elaine and Jerry are bored to tears and are ready to leave way before George. When George leaves the party with a with a woman from his office, he gives Kramer a call to come and get them. When he's not there by 2 a.m., their hostess is ready to throw them out. When Jerry offers to return the favor someday, their host shows up on his doorstep. George has an ongoing feud with a cashier who he says short-changed him $10. Written by garykmcd

After Jerry has his car stolen - he even speaks to the remorseless thief on his car phone - he tries to rent a replacement but learns that it isn't quite as simple as thought it would be. George is intrigued to learn that there's a man in Jerry neighborhood who earns his living by parking everyone's car and moving them when required. George thinks he on to something that he could as well as anyone. Everyone is a bit jealous when Kramer gets a one line speaking part in Woody Allen's new movie which is being filmed in part just outside Jerry's apartment. Nothing seems to work out for anyone of them however. Written by garykmcd

As a thank you for getting him a job at her own place of work, George wants to get Elaine a thank you gift. When he sees a cashmere sweater marked down from $600 to $85, he's immediately interested. The only problem is that there's a red mark on the front which everyone can see and annoys Elaine to no end. At his new work meanwhile, George's tryst with the cleaning lady beings to have ramifications. So does the fact that Elaine's boyfriend falls off the wagon after Jerry mixes up the glasses on a table at an office and he drinks liquor by mistake. Written by garykmcd

Jerry, George, Elaine, and Kramer all embark on separate adventures within the New York subway system. Jerry has to go to Coney Island to get his car out of the impound lot. George is on his way to a job interview. Elaine is on her way to be the best man in a lesbian wedding. Kramer is on his way to court to sweet-talk his way out of a number of traffic violations. On the way to Coney Island, Jerry has a hard time finding anyone to go with him, but meets a rather overweight individual who strips down to his waist, and decides to go on the rides with Jerry. George meets an attractive woman who takes him back to his hotel, robs him blind, steals his clothes, and leaves him handcuffed to the bed. Elaine, on her way to the wedding, takes the one train that has the power go out, and curses into oblivion. Kramer, after leaving court, wanders into a betting shop and actually wins lots of money for once. He's on his way back from the betting shop and nearly gets robbed, only to be saved by an... Written by halo1k

George invites Elaine and Jerry to go with him to his girlfriend's piano recital. In the middle of the performance however, Jerry places a Pez dispenser on her lap and she breaks out laughing. George's girlfriend doesn't know who laughed and George doesn't tell her. He's sure she is now going to break up with him however and Kramer advises that he stage a preemptive break up before she gets the chance. Written by garykmcd

When Jerry's neighbor Martin tries to commit suicide after his girlfriend Gina tries to break up with, Martin ends up in a coma in the hospital. As for Gina, she ends up in bed with Jerry as they begin a fling. He can help but wonder about the morality of it all. Elaine meanwhile takes George to a psychic who tells him something terrible will happen during his forthcoming holiday to Grand Cayman. He frets over it and gets Kramer to take his ticket off his hands. Kramer has quite a tale to tell him on his return. As for Elaine, she has to fast for a few days before undergoing medical tests. Written by garykmcd

George is convinced he is fated never to have a relationship with an attractive, interesting woman. Similarly, Elaine's friend Cynthia is convinced all of the good men are either taken or know they're good and so not available to her. Jerry and Elaine decide to arrange an introduction for the two of them and agree to share everything they hear after their date. It turns out that they have quite a story, one that is made more interesting when the condoms Kramer got from a friend turns out to have been defective. Written by garykmcd

In the first hour-long episode, Jerry hooks up with Keith Hernandez at the gym. He tries to meet with Keith only to be shunned because Keith is infatuated with Elaine. George tries to keep his unemployment money coming in when he tells the unemployment officer that he got a job with Vandelay Industries, a company that manufactures latex. Kramer and Newman recall an incident in which Keith spit on them after a really bad Mets game. The details of the incident strangely mirror that of the JFK assassination. Written by halo1k

Elaine and Keith Hernandez are still seeing one another and Jerry can't quite come to grips with his emotions. When Keith asks him to help move his furniture, everyone thinks their friendship has gone to a new level. Elaine likes Keith, at least until she learns about one of his personal habits. When Kramer and Newman finally meet Hernandez, the truth of the spitting incident is revealed. George meanwhile latches on to yet another scheme to keep his unemployment benefits flowing - dating the employment counselor's unmarried daughter. Written by garykmcd

George meets Jerry at the airport as scheduled but his car broke down on the way there and now don't have a way to get back. When Jerry notices a limo driver waiting for someone named O'Brien, he knows the passenger will never show up since he was supposed to be on Jerry's flight but refused boarding. George has a solution to their problem - just tell the driver he's O'Brien and they'll get a free ride into Manhattan. When the driver tells them he's taking them to Madison Square Garden, they assume they're going to see a Knicks-Bulls game. They're joined by an interesting pair of bodyguards and soon realize that it's not a basketball game they're going to. Written by garykmcd

After Jerry sees the car in front of him sideswipe a parked car near his apartment, he decides to follow it and confront the drive. She turns out to be a very attractive woman by the name of Angela. She soon has him under her thumb but although they are dating, Jerry is having second thoughts about the morality of not doing something about the accident. His resolve changes when he hears that the victim was a pretty neighbor he's wanted to meet for a long time. Kramer meanwhile has a gash on his forehead, something he got when he seemingly passed out. No one can quite figure out why until they start watching Mary Hart on Entertainment Tonight (1981). Written by garykmcd

Jerry's new girlfriend, Nina, is an artist and while he likes her a lot he's a little concerned that she is overly possessive and jealous. It clearly bothers her that he and Elaine have remained such good friends even after they stopped dating. When Jerry obviously begins to waver, she writes him a wildly romantic letter. Only later does he realize it's a piece of dialog given by Marsha Mason in Chapter Two (1979). Sitting in the owner's box at a Yankees game, Elaine insists on wearing her Orioles cap and refuses to remove it when asked to. Written by garykmcd

Coming from an outing to a flea market in New Jersey, Elaine and George damage Jerry's car when George drives over a large pothole. When they get to his apartment they conveniently find a parking space right in front of Jerry's building. As George tries to back in however, someone tries to take the spot by driving in nose first. With neither car able to park, it leads to an all day argument. Elaine meanwhile has to come with a story about the damage to the car. Written by garykmcd

Jerry is fed up with Kramer coming into his apartment any time he feels like it and asks him to return his spare set of keys. Kramer begrudgingly complies but then lets it be known that he's leaving for California. As for the others, the one key swap leads to multiple exchanges on pretty well everyone's part. When Jerry forgets his keys, he gets George to let him into Elaine's apartment so her can get his spare set. What they find interests them. Written by garykmcd