Wojo is alarmed to learn that New York City doesn't have an up-to-date emergency evacuation procedure. Fish meets Jilly Pappalardo, a young thief who eventually will star in the spin-off Fish.

Wojo brings in a sick perpetrator who collapses on the floor. The entire precinct is placed under quarantine, including a prostitute who gets friendly with Fish, Marty, Mr Driscoll, and Inspector Luger.

The entire 12th Precinct is under quarantine for the night, including the civilians, due to the threat of smallpox. Being cooped up in the same room together with no air conditioning starts to affect the men negatively. It gets worse when they overhear Harris' very vocal dreams where he seems to have a problem with everyone. The rest of the men share personal stories and conversations while waiting to hear from the medical lab if the pox is smallpox or just chicken pox. Written by happipuppi13

A robber is confined to the precinct with his bus load of victims.

It's Election Day. A woman, being prevented by her husband from voting, throws a toilet seat into the street to get attention. A shoplifter is escorted to vote by Wojo and then lost by him. Inspector Luger campaigns for a political crony.

A man claiming to be a werewolf causes a disturbance in the park.

A man who hasn't left his apartment since World War II is brought in for refusing to serve jury duty. A prophet claims the end is near, i.e. 5:30 p.m.

Wojo brings in a man for refusing to help a mugging victim, but Barney doesn't think a crime has been committed.

The precinct endures a power failure and a man with a split personality.

Fish goes undercover to catch a mugger who's targeting Santas. Wojo doesn't know how to tell Yemana that his Christmas Eve date is a call girl. Luger fishes for an Christmas Day invitation from Barney.

Everyone on the squad except Barney is stoned by hashish-laced brownies made by Wojo's new girlfriend. An actor and a critic duel with swords.

The city experiences a first-stage smog alert. A potential suicide victim is saved by a graffiti artist.

Barney is charged with harassment when he arrests a blind shoplifter. An evicted tenant threatens a landlord with a musket.

Wojo quits the force rather than return to uniformed patrol one week per month.

Thanks to a suicidal couple, the precinct may go up in flames.

A couple wants Barney's assistance with their cult-influenced daughter. Nick's bookie is arrested. Harris gets a short story published in a slick gentleman's magazine. Bernice interviews for a job over Fish's objections.

Barney investigates a sex clinic that more closely resembles a brothel. Harris investigates a rash of crimes apparently committed by a juvenile. Weary of waiting for a promotion, Levitt announces that he's quitting the force.

Barney discovers that Harris has a second job. Dietrich arrests a priest for fencing stolen goods. A racketeer is using a mentally challenged boy as an assistant.

Wojo prematurely grants asylum to a Russian defector. Marty is charged with a parole violation for possessing a half-ounce of marijuana.

Yemana assists a bigoted Army officer when a bomber threatens a recruiting facility. Fish takes a turn at mugging detail.

The city is threatened with a police force strike. A woman is robbed by her computer date.

Barney Miller is the kind of cop we'd all like to run into. He is always sensible. He maintains order over a squad room of detectives who gamble for a hobby, get hit on by anything in skirts, go to renaissance philosophy conventions for fun, and would really prefer to be writing. Nearly all of the action takes place in the squad room where the citizens and criminals are brought in to complicate the mix. Written by John Vogel [email protected]