Rob manages to get tickets for Laura and Millie to attend the filming of the nationally broadcast Pay as You Go! game show, whose host, Johnny Patrick, is renowned for getting his guests flustered. Through a series of incidents, Laura gets chosen as one of the contestants, news of which gets back to Rob at the office. Rob, Buddy, Sally and even Alan and Mel all decide to watch the live broadcast to see what Johnny will get Laura to do or say. They only manage to watch Laura's introduction, where she says only the right and nice things about Alan and the show. What they don't see is the end of the broadcast where Johnny manages to make Laura drop a bombshell of secret news specifically about Alan. When Rob finds out, he and Laura just hope that by a miracle Alan doesn't find out; but, later sure that Alan knows what Laura said on national television, both Rob and Laura take different approaches to make amends and/or protect Rob's job. Written by Huggo / edited by statmanjeff

Harvey Bellman, a guy Rob once encouraged to write, finally finishes his book and sends Rob and Laura a copy. The incident leaves Rob envious over never finishing his own book. He then dedicates himself to the task but finds himself distracted by anything and everything. Laura finally has enough and sends him off to Lake Pushneck where Harvey has availed Rob his own personal get-away cabin in which to work. Will the isolation and change of scenery enable Rob to write? That's the question. Written by statmanjeff

Rob, Buddy and Sally are working late on the script for the Alan Brady Show. When Buddy and Sally step from the room for coffee, Rob sees what he thinks is a flying saucer hovering outside their office window, hearing it also utter the mysterious phrase, Uhny Uftz. After an embarrassing attempt to report the saucer to the authorities, Rob becomes convinced it was just an illusion caused by fatigue -- until the saucer and its puzzling phrase reappear during another late night writing session. Written by aldanoli / edited by statmanjeff

Rob, Buddy and Sally have an unusual challenge in writing this week's script. The show's guest is a not a comedienne but a dramatic actress, and one that is not human but canine, namely a dog named Pally. They are having problems coming up with a suitable idea for a sketch. Rob thinks he's figured out an angle, one that has been done before but probably not in canine form. As Pally is considered a beautiful and intelligent dog, she would be Eliza Doolittle in their version of Pygmalion. To pull the skit off, they would have to find the ugliest, stupidest dog in the world as a pre-transformation stand-in, which Rob believes he's found at the dog pound. They nickname their ugly dog Horrible. The next day, there is a slight change in plans when Pally is no longer scheduled to appear on the show. What Rob didn't figure is that Horrible now has to be returned to the pound, which is more difficult than he imagined it would be to do despite Horrible being an ugly, smelly dog with bad breath,... Written by Huggo

Laura has just read about Clark Rice in the newspaper. The name Clark Rice evokes strong emotions in both Rob and Laura as the man who won and almost won Laura. The story... After Rob and Laura had become serious about each other, Laura was crowned Bivouac Baby at Camp Crowder, the title which also came with an obligation to be raffled off for a date. The winner of the raffle was Cpl. Clark Rice. Clark ended up being attracted to Laura, and Laura in turn admitted that she had a good time with Clark on their date. After some convincing by Clark that she should know about Rob for sure before committing her life to him, Laura agreed to see Clark again to test that commitment. The idea of Laura dating another man while she made up her mind between himself and Clark didn't sit well with Rob, who ultimately forced Laura to choose before Clark's imminent transfer overseas. Written by Huggo

Even though he agrees to do it, Rob is less than enthusiastic about taking an evening art class with Laura; however, he ends up having a great time and is the star pupil of the class, which is taught by a young, bohemian woman named Valerie Ware. Since Rob and Laura didn't identify themselves as husband and wife, and as Rob was not wearing his wedding ring, Laura believes that Valerie is interested in Rob as more than a student by the extra attention he got in class and her want for him to take private lessons, jointly with her and a renowned artist. Laura doesn't want to seem jealous and she wants to be supportive. That is why she allows Rob to take the private lessons. Rob wants to take the private lessons but doesn't want to make Laura uncomfortable, especially if it turns out that Valerie really is attracted to him. Only going to his private lesson will tell the truth behind Valerie's motives. Written by Huggo

Rob and Laura attend the reading of the will left by Rob's elderly Uncle Hezekiah. After some fairly generous financial bequests are given to Rob's relatives, they are ushered out of the room, and Rob and Laura are shown a short film of Uncle Hezekiah informing Rob that he's left him his old roll-top desk; Hezekiah then sings him a chorus of Me and My Shadow, which is supposed to be a clue to a treasure Hezekiah claims is hidden in the desk. Written by aldanoli

As Rob naps one afternoon, Ritchie and his friend Freddie connect the freckles on Rob's back. Laura and Millie notice that the pattern resembles the Liberty Bell, so Rob reluctantly decides to follow Millie's suggestion that Rob submit it to Odd but True, which publicizes unusual stunts and physical phenomena and, in exchange, pays the person responsible a $500 prize. Written by aldanoli

Rob and Laura's former short term live-in immigrant maid, Maria, telephones asking for a favor. She would like Rob to help her Spanish boyfriend, Manuel Rodriguez, find a job, which will be no easy task as Manuel's primary profession is as a bullfighter. When Manuel arrives at Rob and Laura's door, he has the misconception - much like Maria did before him - that his job is as their live-in housekeeper. He tells them that he left Spain and bullfighting in disgrace as a coward and needs to regain his dignity before he can marry Maria. Regardless, Rob and Laura have to tell him that he can't work for or stay with them permanently, but they also realize that they have to help him regain that lost dignity. They allow him to stay for a few days to do odd jobs around the house, but after observing him, Rob and Laura don't believe he's what he appears to be on the surface. Only Manuel can prove them right or wrong. Written by Huggo

Ritchie's been giving lectures to the other children at school about human reproduction - fanciful stories that prompt his teacher to summon Rob and Laura to discuss the matter. After having a talk with Ritchie, the Petries feel they've handled the problem admirably and that no more tales will be told, but they soon hear of the lectures continuing. Finally Rob and Laura sit Ritchie down to find out what's up with him. Written by statmanjeff

In a story told mostly as a flashback, Rob recalls his days as Pitter Patter Petrie, the middleweight champion of Camp Crowder, Missouri, during his Army days. He also recounts how his then-fiancée Laura was deeply worried about Rob's defense of his title against a well-regarded challenger, even going so far as to suggest that Rob take a dive. Written by aldanoli

Laura has brought home a series of fantasy illustrations drawn by Charlie, the seventeen year old son of Laura's local butcher. Both Laura and Rob think they're good. Instead of buying any of them, Laura thinks that the entire series would make a good children's book, and she wants Rob to approach his friend, Ollie Wheelright, a children's book publisher, to see if he would be interested in publishing the drawings. Laura also thinks that the drawings might be sold more easily if there was a story accompanying them. Rob thinks that she wants him to write the story, but instead she wants to write it herself. Rob still believes what that means is that he will do the bulk of the work. To Rob's amazement, Laura churns out the story in a few hours without any help from him. He likes her story, but feels that it needs a few edits and offers to make those changes rather than explain the process to Laura. In the editing process, Rob changes Laura's story entirely, about which she is not happy.... Written by Huggo

Rob storms out of the house after he and Laura have an argument, spending the evening at a drive-in theater. Returning home about one o'clock in the morning, Rob and Laura make up, Rob a little worse for wear since he sustained a black eye falling on Jerry and Millie's lawn jockey. Being virtually alone for the night causes problems for Rob later as police search for someone who drove a car matching Rob's car's license plate number (or what part they have of the number). That person allegedly assaulted an elderly woman at a bar at 11:45 that night. Having nothing to hide, Rob tries to cooperate with the police, but the more he does, the guiltier he looks and sounds. Rob may end up being arrested unless someone can come up with a plausible explanation for the license plate issue and why Mrs. Fieldhouse, the victim, positively identifies him as one of her attackers. Written by Huggo / edited by statmanjeff

Mel comes into the writers' office with news that Alan has decided the show will go into summer reruns, meaning that the staff is off on summer vacation - or technically laid off - for two months. Although happy about the news, Rob has a sense of déjà vu to precisely nine years earlier when he just joined the writing staff of the show. Then, Mel came in with the exact same news. Sally and Buddy were ecstatic as it allowed them to take other temporary writing jobs. Rob, being relatively new in the business, had no such offers, and, without telling his colleagues due to embarrassment, was worried about how to make ends meet, especially with mortgage payments, no furniture in the new house and a baby on the way. Laura was not as concerned about their financial situation, especially as she figured Rob could collect unemployment insurance. Fortunately or unfortunately, the unemployment office was able to get him a writing job, writing a stockholders report for a television tube rectifier ... Written by Huggo

Laura throws Rob a surprise birthday party. After everybody has left to go home, Rob can't find the new expensive watch Laura bought for him as a gift. Rob and Laura turn the house upside down but can't find the watch. Although neither wants to believe it, both come to the conclusion that the most logical explanation is that one of their friends at the party - Jerry, Millie, Buddy, Sally or Mel - stole the watch. The most obvious culprits are Jerry or Buddy as the pranksters, but both deny pulling any such prank or any knowledge of the watch's whereabouts. As Rob and Laura try to find out what happened to the watch, all their friends come to know what is in Rob and Laura's minds, although Rob and Laura say they don't suspect any of the five as having taken the watch. The situation gets even worse when Rob tries to salvage some monetary value of the watch by collecting the insurance money. Laura and Rob come up with a plan both to salvage their friendships and to find out if any of ... Written by Huggo

Rob speaks at a public meeting to oppose a new shopping center development on the site of an existing park. Impressed by his speech and by him as a man, Doug, who is his friend and a current city councilor, and Mr. Howard, a businessman who works on a committee for better local government, want Rob to run for city council. Once Rob and Laura recover from the shock of the request, they decide that Rob will at least speak further to them about the possibility, with him leaning more toward running. At the planning meeting with Doug and Mr. Howard among others, Rob finds out that there is a lot of politics involved, about which he is not too happy. Both he and Laura also discover that everyone in New Rochelle wants something from their local politicians, whether it be big, small, crazy or insignificant, but Rob still wants to do some public good. As Rob teeters on the fence, guilt in not being civic-minded enough may sway his decision unless he can find a good excuse not to run. Written by Huggo / edited by statmanjeff

Rob enters into his public speaking engagements. At a ladies club, he meets his political opponent Lincoln Goodheart for the first time. Though Lincoln is short, mousy and with a nasal speaking voice, he is bright and extremely well-informed about everything. Rob, on the other hand, is tall, nervously awkward and politically ignorant but with a nice poster. The more Rob learns about Lincoln the more he finds himself inadequate for the job - but does the public want a well-informed leader or a charming figurehead? Written by statmanjeff

Rob's parents bestow upon Laura a Petrie family heirloom -- a huge, garish gold brooch in the shape of the United States, with a jewel for each city where a male member of the family was born. Laura reluctantly accepts the brooch to keep the peace, but her embarrassment over it turns to horror when she accidentally drops it into the garbage disposal. Written by aldanoli

Alan publicly berates Mel in front of the entire cast and crew for a small gaffe that made Alan look unintentionally comical. Rob and Buddy, who witnessed the incident, believe that Alan's actions were uncalled for. What's worse, they can't believe that Mel just stood there and did nothing to defend himself. Rob hears through the grapevine that Alan may find another producer to replace Mel, despite Mel being pseudo-family. Rob, Sally and even Buddy believe that what Mel needs is some belief in himself and some backbone to stand up to Alan. With some alcohol in his system, Mel, on Rob's advice (who truly believes Alan wouldn't fire Mel), decides to stand up to the bullying Alan. Beyond giving him the advice, Rob, Sally and Buddy try to figure out how else they can support Mel in this battle without jeopardizing their own jobs. Written by Huggo

When Ritchie brings out a secret document of Rob and Laura's while Buddy and Sally are over for dinner, Rob and Laura, who were initially not going to divulge the nature of the document, decide to reveal that it is their divorce papers issued by Mexico. The story... They had been married for about three months, Rob was still in the army and they were stationed in a small Texas border town called Anchor. To get away from the problems that living in Anchor was causing on their marriage, they decided to take a romantic getaway across the border into El Diablo, Mexico. What they didn't know was that El Diablo was the place were people went to get a quick and cheap divorce. For several reasons, the vacation ended up not being a romantic getaway. The problems Rob and Laura faced there were heightened by a flamenco dancer named Maxine and previous problems from Anchor following them to El Diablo. During an argument at the hotel, Rob and Laura told their story to Juan, who provided a ... Written by Huggo

Sally is appearing on The Stevie Parsons Show for the umpteenth time, but unlike the other times, she's nervous over running out of funny stories to tell. Her concern passes when she comes up with a fresh idea based on a suggestion from Buddy and the latest laughably bad incident in her long, struggling relationship with Herman Glimscher and his mother: she's going to do a mock television commercial advertising herself as a potential girlfriend/wife. The gag may end up being funny, but Rob worries it will result in every crackpot in America responding. As usual, Sally's appearance is a hit (except with Herman and his mother) for which she indeed gets hundreds of letters responding in jest (as her self-promotion was meant to be); but, when Stevie Parsons asks Rob to pick one of those letters without Sally's knowledge (whose author Stevie plans to contact and introduce to Sally live on the air), Rob must decide, first, if he will go along with the stunt and, second, if he will choose ... Written by Huggo

A preoccupied Buddy Sorrell begins begging off early from work and making surreptitious phone calls from the office, making co-writers Sally and Rob wonder what's going on. When Buddy again says he needs off early to go to his mother's place in Brooklyn, Sally thereafter spots him in Manhattan. On the phone, Rob talks with Buddy's wife Pickles, who believes he's at his mom's, too. Rob and Sally speculate whether Buddy's seeing a psychiatrist about his sour marriage or pushing Pickles to the side for a sweetheart. Written by David Stevens

In Albany, Rob and Laura attend the wedding of Laura's cousin Edabeth, with Laura as matron of honor and Rob as an usher. Rob sends Laura ahead to the church alone as he, on orders from Alan, has to stay in their hotel room to watch a televised fashion show to assess the talent of a young woman Alan is contemplating hiring as an on-air partner. Despite Laura's concerns, Rob figures he has plenty of time. It's now seven thirty, the show starts at eight o'clock, ends at eight thirty, and the wedding ceremony starts at nine o'clock; however, the evening doesn't go quite as smoothly as Rob plans. First, he forgets the name of the church. Second, the television set in his room shorts out. As Rob calls in the hotel repairman to fix it, he wonders how he can watch his TV show, a task made difficult by the Seals, a men's service club, holding a convention at the fully booked hotel. There are no spare rooms Rob can use, and the hotel bar's television, controlled by majority rule, is ... Written by Huggo / revised by statmanjeff

While Rob, Sally and Buddy rifle through the basement garbage looking for their only copy of this week's script, Rob finds a three-day-old network memo to Alan stating that he needs to let one of the writers go for budgetary reasons. Rob decides not to tell Sally or Buddy about it till he figures out what to do. After talking to Laura, Rob decides to tell Sally and Buddy, especially as Rob will probably have to make the decision on which of them to release. After discussing it, the three decide to show solidarity by quitting Alan's show together and looking for another job as a writing team, but the only job open is working for ventriloquist Claude Wilbur's show featuring puppets, the star puppet being Jellybean the Snail. With Rob acting as negotiator for the team, Claude offers them the well-paying job, but Rob isn't sure they should accept it, if only because they will be writing for a snail and, in Rob's eyes, a not very nice snail who has a master with an unusual perspective on ... Written by Huggo / edited by statmanjeff

The entire office, including the writers' room, gets a face-lift in preparation for a film crew shooting a falsified television documentary on Alan's life. To guarantee himself shown in as good a light as possible, Alan stages all events filmed, including one planned for Rob's house with him having an impromptu, casual coffee with his head writer and his family to show that he mingles with the little people. After agreeing, Rob belatedly remembers he already has a previous engagement scheduled at home during that time - Jerry and Millie's wedding anniversary party. It raises a totally different problem for Rob as Alan now wants the film crew at the party (where he'll dictate what happens). Conversely, Millie, who really doesn't like Alan, wants the film crew to come anyway to give her and Jerry and all their loving friends (including her flirtatious cousin Blanche and Blanche's jealous lush of a husband Hi) national television exposure, but on her own terms. Caught in the middle, ... Written by Huggo / edited by statmanjeff

On weeks where they are feeling especially frustrated with Alan's dictatorial nature, Rob, Buddy and Sally type in disparaging remarks about Alan in their copy of the week's script, inking out those insults in the official copy that eventually goes to Alan. As they and Laura are in the office getting dressed to go to an opening night of a new play - tickets for which were provided by Alan - Sally comes to the realization that none of the three inked out the insults in this week's script that went to Alan. They feel they have no other choice but to try and break into Alan's office and retrieve the script, or else get fired after Alan reads it. With only Mac the night security man in the office, they think they have a good chance of breaking in. Breaking into Alan's office and actually finding the script are two totally separate tasks, each which may be equally difficult. But when they find out where the script is, they are sent on another quest, which may be a little more illegal in ... Written by Huggo

It's the beginning of a three day weekend for Rob, and his already giddy mood is heightened even further when Mr. Phillips, a federal agent, stops by wanting to use their house as a stakeout post to watch the goings-on of their neighbor, Mr. Gerard. It isn't Mr. Gerard they are after, but his criminal nephew. Laura doesn't like the idea of their house being used for a stakeout, but Rob thrives on the idea of a little excitement. Believing it's for the public good, they agree, and Agent Harry Bond is sent. While Laura generally feels nervous with both Harry in the house and with a criminal possibly in their neighborhood, Rob can't help but get in Harry's way as he tries to act the spy. When a little trouble may finally be brewing at Gerard's house, Rob may have to get involved in the surveillance, as Harry is suffering not only from over-exposure to Rob, but a massive toothache. Written by Huggo / edited by statmanjeff

Leslie Merkle, one of Rob's old army buddies (whom Rob fears wants a free script from him), calls to offer Rob a bit part in his latest project, an experimental movie on the life of pseudo-celebrity Rita Rivera, a European woman renowned for her many lovers. Laura's concern over Rob's appearance in love scenes abates when she learns that the camera itself will be Rita, looking upon her men. That's all well and good till Leslie decides upon using a live actress instead, a gorgeous Italian woman named Lucianna Mazetta. As reward (and safety) for still allowing him to be in the film, Rob invites Laura to the set, but her presence puts Rob off his game during the love scenes. It turns out, it's not Rob's biggest problem. Written by Huggo / revised by statmanjeff

Purely out of coincidence, Mary Jane Staggs née Gibbs, a friend of Laura's from their grammar school days, moves in next door to the Petries with her husband, Fred Staggs. When Millie first meets Mary Jane at the Petrie house, she feels like a third wheel with Laura and Mary Jane so preoccupied about catching up after all these years. Feeling slighted and jealous of Mary Jane's friendship with Laura, Millie tries to get Jerry to feel the same way about Rob's subsequent friendship with Fred. Jerry refuses to until he finds out that Rob, having four free tickets to a new Broadway show, gave the two extras to Fred and Mary Jane (which Rob only did as he knew Jerry would hate the show). Rob and Laura come to realize that Jerry and Millie are jealous of their friendship with the Staggs and, thus, try to figure out ways to make the Helpers not feel like they are becoming the lost neighbors (while also not pandering to what Rob considers their childish behavior). Through it all, Rob and ... Written by Huggo / edited by statmanjeff

The Petrie and Helper families head off on an overnight camping and fishing trip - all but Laura, who stays behind to nurse a cold. Not wanting to admit her nervousness about staying alone in the house, Laura welcomes the company of Herschel, the Helper's myna bird. Millie, who later concludes that the camping trip will be no fun for her without Laura, returns to spend the night with her best friend, but it doesn't help. Their personal jitters at being alone feed off each other, fraying Laura and Millie's nerves at every little bump in the night, in which they imagine the worst. And what could be worse than a power outage right before a man does indeed enter the house? Written by Huggo / revised by statmanjeff

To extract Rob's impacted wisdom tooth, Jerry places him under a general anesthetic, a procedure which concerns Rob only because he needs to get back to work to write a western sketch for the show, due that day. While under the effects of the anesthetic, Rob not only dreams about the sketch but also subconsciously places himself, his family and his friends in that western dream setting: Gunless Sheriff Rob wants to rid the west of all bad guys, with Big Bad Brady, a former associate of his when Rob was a gunslinger, at the top of that list. Rob hears from Killer Cooley that Big Bad is coming to town to watch a show, vowing to kill anyone associated with it if he doesn't like it, but if the show doesn't go on, he'll just kill Rob instead. If Rob can't convince the reluctant cowboys of the town to perform, he must decide whether to face Big Bad Brady or go on the run. As Sheriff Rob resolves to make a stand, wife Laura thinks she has the answer to save him. Written by Huggo / edited by statmanjeff

Rob and Laura put aside all else for one evening after Rob tells her that he has finished the manuscript for his first book. He hopes Laura will read the manuscript while he watches her, nervously trying to gage her reaction, but she'll have none of that. As Laura starts reading, she is excited to learn that the book is the story of their life, and she begins to reminisce about the situations written. Regardless of Laura's reaction, Rob is equally as anticipatory about the reaction of the publisher to whom he sent the manuscript. Written by Huggo / edited by statmanjeff