When comedian Max Baker dies his son Michael reluctantly agrees to write his biography which brings him into contact with Max's old comedy partner, the self-important purveyor of malapropisms Count Arthur Strong. Arthur takes Michael - and a foot spa - to the local café, where he erroneously believes they are offering two teas for the price of one. Back home Arthur subjects Michael to his Memory Man act but ends up having an accident with the foot spa. Next day Arthur attends Max's funeral, giving a speech which reduces Michael to tears when Arthur declares how much Max loved his son, a fact of which he was unaware. However the day ends in disaster when Arthur's friends tuck into the funeral spread and one has an accident. Written by don @ minifie-1

Michael discovers that Arthur has been advertising various services - including as a life studies model, with shocking results - on cards in a newsagent window and suggests he would reach a wider audience by going online, so he lends him a computer. However Arthur uses it to send abusive messages in Michael's name, so it is swiftly confiscated. To atone for this Michael agrees to join Arthur on his Jack the Ripper tours, which he runs from an ice cream van. However disaster strikes when angry kids learn that they do not sell ice cream and take appropriate action. Written by don @ minifie-1

When an actor falls ill Count Arthur is offered a small role in a radio play though he soon confuses and annoys his co-stars and writer at the table reading, where they discuss their parts in high-flown terms whilst Arthur just wants to get at the buffet. However, when he gets the young leading man drunk minutes before the recording it looks as if he will end up filling the breach and being the star of the show. Michael meanwhile spends an afternoon buried underneath boxes whilst searching for a letter to his father from Elvis Presley - or was it Tommy Steele? Written by don @ minifie-1

When a riot erupts in the street outside the café staff and patrons lock themselves in the back room for safety. Arthur, who assumes the ruckus has been caused by the butcher selling two chops for the price of one, decides to entertain everybody with his selection of songs from the shows. However, they find it torturous and a fight breaks out. Michael manages to quell it by singing 'Moon River' and finds himself in a duet with Arthur. Written by don @ minifie-1

Following Arthur's latest job as a dog walker Michael gets bitten by one of the dogs, fulfilling mad Pole Katya's prophesy of doom. Michael is taken to casualty by Arthur, who, in his quest for a comfortable seat, is mistaken for a doctor, a role he relishes, having once played Doctor Two in a television soap. However, this is bad news for Michael, about to undergo a biopsy to test for rabies, though for Arthur there is worse news to come, bringing the prophesy true. Written by don @ minifie-1

Following the death of Katya Arthur becomes reclusive and convinced that she is not happy so he summonses the café regulars to a séance, drawing a protective pentangle on the magic blackboard to ward off evil spirits. Though the spirit message reads I Smell Good. Give Bricks To the Baby I Superstar Arthur ' Arthur eventually realizes that Katya will never be at peace until he has buried her artificial leg and so a burial is conducted. Michael then leaves London, making a gift of his book to Arthur. Written by don @ minifie-1