In a spoof documentary we meet the border security staff at a small airport, led by Chief Proctor, who explains that she wanted to be a ballerina until she was told she was obese. Baggage handler Mo Khan is resentful, having been turned down for 'The Apprentice' and accuses Proctor of being Islamophobic when she tries to enforce a Home office directive, looking for 'anything out of the ordinary'. Egyptian Tariq is annoyed at being expected to translate for an Arab who speaks no English so the man is let through without a proper examination but Tariq acquits himself by arresting drug smuggler DJ Stefano Rocco. Ultimately the team's failure is exonerated when the directive is withdrawn. Written by don @ minifie-1

Proctor gives a first aid lecture but she is preoccupied since her husband Fergus has quit his job and she confides in a bored Andy. Clive has to prevent two drunk members of a hen party from boarding a plane to Benidorm until they have sobered up and needs the help of the suave Tariq whilst Grant is smitten by a Ukrainian girl, with whom he exchanges bad jokes and phone numbers. Written by don @ minifie-1

Handsome, charismatic - but wholly self-centred - detective Terry Bradshaw arrives from the London Metropolitan police to escort an extradited criminal arriving at the airport back to the capital. An excited Clive attempts to help but is cruelly snubbed by the conceited Bradshaw, though, when the criminal finally arrives, it is Clive who saves the day, making Bradshaw look stupid. Meanwhile Tariq, wrongly believing that Andy is attracted to Bradshaw, rings his ex-girlfriend Monica to make Andy jealous, though, when Monica turns up earlier than anticipated, he rather wishes he had not bothered. Written by don @ minifie-1

Last year everybody forgot Clive's birthday but Tariq promised that this year it would be different. Sadly for Clive it is not as Proctor's only announcement at the briefing concerns the sad death of mechanic Charles Headley. Nobody can remember who he is except Grant, who takes things very badly and takes to drink, ignoring Clive's hints that it is his birthday. Finally, as the staff hold a memorial for Charles Andy recalls a rather shocking fact about him - with Clive still waiting for his party. Written by don @ minifie-1

Actor Mark Addy arrives and is detained for two hours - not that he has done anything wrong but Clive is thrilled top meet somebody from his beloved 'Game of Thrones'. Tariq is also excited as Andy has agreed to come to his DJ gig and he hopes she may spend the night with him. Just as they are all preparing to leave Dr Jamilah Adeloko flies in from Nigeria. She is a respected academic seeking asylum and, although the team have never had to deal with an asylum seeker before, they are determined to help. Written by don @ minifie-1

There are goodbyes all round as Clive announces that he is leaving to join the police and a crest-fallen Grant sees Dasha on her plane back to the Ukraine. Andy also decides that she does not want to be Tariq's girl-friend after their one night stand which is as well as he is still seeing Monica. Meanwhile Proctor is branded a racist after an innocent photo of her pointing to the toilet for an Arab passenger is misconstrued and goes viral on Twitter. However there are compensations in gifts from an unexpected quarter before the team goes home for the weekend. Written by don @ minifie-1