Put children to good use, say, as golf clubs. Beware of explosive postcards. Beware of library books - you never where they've been. And in case you didn't know: Hitler's hair parting was the secret of his success.

Dullard Calum Gilhooley entertains Jehovah's witnesses, Welsh DIY wizard Denzil discovers his wife Gwynedd to be 17 years pregnant and there's a floorshow from the world's only dyslexic mindreader.

What is the disease of the week? Which new inventions have emerged from the mind of the great Macglashan? What do fish talk about? Tune in for the answers.

Stoneybridge Council plot their bid for the 1996 Olympic games, there's nothing as fun as a nun and there's advice from the wardrobe on how dangerous things can prove dangerous.

Don and George spend some time at a hotel, the misadventures of a sleepwalking man are revealed, there's an alarm clock calamity and the dedicated followers of Frank are not to be put off easily.